Saturday, October 5, 2013


 We were on the Huntington Beach pier, when a young man ran out of the gift shop we were standing in front of, slowed to look me in the eyes and said, "wow, check out the sunset." Honestly up until then I hadn't noticed it and it seemed to me that this man noticed, or was he simply being used by the Lord to say, "Donna, look at my beauty, my surroundings. Do not worry about the world and the weight of your problems. Set your eyes on me." I am loved by the Lord. He sends messengers to remind me.
             When I'm in my head, I tend to overeat and not notice the beauty around me. I want to create a protective shield so that no one will notice me and for me that shield is layers of fat. It's horrible, feels wrong, and I hate myself for doing it but I can't seem to break this cycle. Well, I'm on the path to breaking this cycle. Anyone who has been abused tends to want to hide in shame. I didn't realize until recently that I carry a lot of shame in the label divorced. I've been divorced for three years but the shame is just rearing it's ugly face. I am attending a support group, "New Beginnings" which feels appropriate for where my life is headed...
             It was Huntington Beach pier again, when a rough and tough looking guy in his twenties or should I say a group of about six guys handed my eight year old a flower, just because they wanted to make her smile. 
 The message is beautiful...I am loved and He lets me know in mysterious and beautiful ways.


Jen Wagenmaker said...

Thank you for your transparency Donna! I feel so honored to be your friend. You are such a strong and brave woman. God is using you for Great and Mighty things.

Nesting Momma said...

Thank you Jen for always being a source of encouragement and believer in my dreams. xo