Saturday, March 23, 2013

Me Today. What I learned in Michigan

I had the beautiful opportunity to visit the state of Michigan last week. When I arrived I was greeted by the ladies from the Legacy Conference and stayed the night with Corrine who has walked the journey of single motherhood for almost ten years. I am new to the single motherhood life so it was an encouragement I had not expected to get from the trip. I could have left the next day and my heart would have been lifted with hope to endure this new journey which sometimes frightens me.

My heart has been overwhelmed since I arrived home. I hug my babies closer, I appreciate the sunshine as the gals there only seem to get five months of great weather. All though I think God smiled down on Michigan upon my arrival because there was sun, snow and a sunset over Lake Michigan that made me think for a moment that Heaven will look a bit like "this". I left a bit of my heart in Michigan but know California is home. It is a awkward, sometimes dark and grimy place with smog and bitterness in the air but, I know it. It is familiar, it is noisy enough for me to run away and hide in my pain but the smell of the ocean and beaches that many envy are a quick hideaway if needed.

What I learned: The DePoy family have hearts of Gold and a love big enough for strangers that challenges the spirit to want to grow. I had a heart to heart with Pastor Jerry DePoy Sr. and it was what this girl needed. He challenged why I am going to school for Psychology. I had the answers and we both walked away from the conversation stretched out of our comfort zone. Which I love. I don't appreciate people in my life who let me stay stuck. My sweet friends of twenty years lovingly challenge me. He did too. What a man of wisdom, grace and love for friends close and strangers he calls family. Mrs, DePoy was a complete jewel who made me feel comfortable from the start.

Women whom I met, all of them, loved on me and accepted me with the grace of Jesus.

Michigan made me face my emotional fears. I told the story of how I met Jennifer from the Legacy Conference I think ten to twenty times which made me face the tangible, heart felt fact that I met this loving family and ministry because Jay DePoy Jr. told me that my friend had committed suicide. Gina always loved a happy ending. I  know she is smiling in Heaven.

I learned that spiritual sisters in Christ are connected. I knew that but I felt as though I had met these ladies of Legacy already. It's as if we were long lost friends that reconnected.

What a see and goals I have coming home from Michigan:

*To love on my girls, nurture them through the trauma they continue to experience because of the abuse I went through during my marriage. Yes, that is real and it's my story. Their Dad is a person loved by God with real pain and I married him. loving him but the pain goes deep for all of us and there is a road of healing we are all on even if it is separately and always will be.

*I am going to finish my book and realize that it is a book on awareness to the Church as well as those who do not find their faith in Jesus Christ.

* I have ideas for two more books so it's official. I'm a writer soon to be author.

*Finish school before I dive into ministry. I will continue down the road of healing but with hope in my heart.  Lord willing, I will work with women who have experienced trauma possibly in the area of sex trafficking  in the United States because it is a form of occult abuse and I understand that deep pain. Spiritual Counseling is a desire having the knowledge of how the mind works as we heal, mind , body and spirit.

* Help my best friend Heather to grow it is a journey we have been on for over 10 years and we see that we are about to reach higher ground. It's exciting!

Yes. I am a blessed, busy, yet balanced girl, with freedom.

Oh, and I am not thinking about the fact that I am 47. I feel better then I ever have. So be it. Growing old is great.

Thank you for walking on this road of redemption with me. The road that leads home.


Jen Wags said...

I loved reading this and hearing your heart and thoughts from your trip last weekend. It is hard to believe that a whole week has passed by already. I am eager to watch your dreams unfold. He is so good! Love you dear friend.

Nesting Momma said...

Jen, I can hardly believe how much God worked on me during my visit with you. I knew that I would be filled and rested but I didn't expect Him to go into those deep wounded places in my heart and heal. He did and I'm blessed to know you and the other ladies in Michigan. xoxo