Friday, October 28, 2011

Me. Today. When it's all too much

It's often too much. My life, the tasks I take on just being a mom. I love it. But I also fear at times that I am failing.

I know you do to. It makes me sad how as women we doubt ourselves, beat ourselves up and label ourselves with negative titles. When really if we know Jesus.....

We are simply a Child of God.

That's it.

Our worth, value, love, the idea that we belong to something, that we are loved; should not come from any external source other then Jesus. When we look to our kids, our titles, our position in society for value, we give ourselves power that we simply don't have. The power to control our lives, our outcome. Our destiny. Sure we can make wise choices, invest well and have life turn out OK. But if our identity is rooted in our success we've missed the mark.

I rest in the fact that I am a child of God period.

I've been listening to a pastors sermons on-line on the book of Job. I highly recommend listening. Reed at Christ the King Presbyterian Church has ministered to my broken heart through his raw, honest and insightful look at the book of Job.

He mentions that as Christians we are always trying to figure out how God is using our trials. (My summary not his words). I'm sure pastors love being "quoted wrongly" so I'll deter from attempting to quote...

We tend to minimize trauma. Instead, why don't we just sit in the pain? God is in control so why don't we let Him do His thing because we will never figure out what God is doing with our trials until He has worked it all out and we are on the receiving end of Grace. To try and figure out the mind of Christ and minimize our own pain does not do the King justice.

Let Him remove the mountains, water the withering vine and make beauty from ashes. We are sure to mess it up if we even attempt to be the author of our own fate.

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