Sunday, December 25, 2011

Me. Today. Forgivness

The girls Daddy came over on Christmas day, only for one hour. I still feel the ache of the loneliness I felt during our 9 years of marriage.

Yet, I do rejoice over the freedom I now have.

Never did I even think about divorce until the door of hate was slammed in my face. Even then, I asked for, begged for a way in which we could keep our marriage in tacked. There was no way. It was time to be safe, healthy and an example to my two girls that it's not OK to be abused. It's not ok to be ignored and it's not OK for someone to go outside the marriage to find "joy" in someone else.

It's just not.
Jesus sometimes has us be bold, to act bold.
This was my time.

It's just when I get frustrated at the process of forgiveness, that the Lord enters that heavy, dark place of bitterness in my heart.

I experience what it is to forgive.

Not faking it, feeling it. Free of that bitter root. It's been plucked. Ouch it still stings, the operation of it all.

Thank you Jesus for walking with me in the pain and pulling my heart towards forgiveness.

"An unforgiving heart hurts...we can give the ache to Him in forgiveness and then have the freedom our hearts so desire."

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