Friday, December 30, 2011

Me. Today. Army of 3

As Christ followers I think sometimes we are afraid of the dark within.

Ironic.

Jesus died for the dark in us. It's obviously there.

Music helps me to get in touch with the dark within. It's a fine line though....I don't want to listen to  music that keeps me in the dark , nurtures the dark or makes me feel like dark is a friend who I can keep around and allow it to ask bitterness to come out and play.

NO, I can't go there.

But I sing ( in the shower, car) loudly. Hearing my voice is good. Hearing myself express pain seems to take the pain  from within and launches it out to the universe. 


Ingid is a safe voice , place for me to express humor, music and my voice without feeling like I'm huging the dark.

When I choose music carefully, it heals me.

To pretend that the dark is not there and to give you the impression that I sit around worshiping all day with joy in my heart would make me a Pharisee.

I'm a person who struggles.

Loves deeply , feels deeply.


Find your voice within. If you're a survivor of any sort of trauma , you may feel like your voice was made silent. The dark had to stay tucked away in order for the abuse to stop, the pain to stop or you held on to the lie that if you stayed silent , the pain would go away.

I did not have a voice as a child. I found it at age 25. Then I gave up my voice at age 36 and I am now finding it again.

Speak the truth in love. It's OK.

Army of three:




2 comments:

Jeremy M said...

Wow, some really good points here. Music often times brings out a good sort of pain deep down inside me as well.

In fact, sometimes it is in those moments, when I am focusing on and feeling someone else's pain that I feel closest to God. Why is that? My only guess is that for a few minutes I am completely captivated with someone other than myself...in that sense I have begun to catch a glimpse of the selfLESSness of God.

Nesting Momma said...

Jeremy,
Music has a way of reaching in and touching our lives, broken parts and heals. Doesn't it?! I love the perspective you have of how it gives us a glimpse of the selflessness of God!