I wrote this post months ago, published it, then for some reason took it down. Maybe it felt to raw, to honest to put here but I've let go of what "others" might think of my pain, my process and I'm honored that you've come to "read my live journal".
Read it with love? Criticism? Judgment? It doesn't matter to me. But do me a favor and ask Jesus to go on you with your journey through your dark world. The dark part of you.
We all have a dark area of our lives. Dare not to be afraid of it. You're going to be OK.
So am I.
a page from my journal:
Holding my Lord with a white knuckle grip. Take my pain, thoughts. Thoughts. Painful, wonderful thoughts. Wrong? Why Lord? Why?
Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. He is the one who can change our thoughts when we give them to Him. Come into my thoughts Lord. I will not hold too tightly to them.
When I friend dies quickly, without notice, the mind plays tricks.