Friday, October 8, 2010

kicking down the white picket fence

I took this post down. It's raw. My heart is raw but I decided to post it once again.

If you're visiting for the first time, know that I am in a raw state with my emotions. Not sure what is going to be said. What is written below and what I will continue to expand on may not make sense to you or it may touch your aching heart. I'm not sure? Are you ready to really see what goes on in the burbs behind the white picket fence?

part I
What I know:
Jesus Christ is the one and only living God. Period. God is good. Period. Love wins period.

I grew up in the burbs behind the white picket fence. I spent years in therapy searching for reasons for my fractured mind, bad choices. Too many men. Too many vices filling that "God sized whole in my heart" isn't that what they call it? That hole. That aching place. But how could I have such an ache? I grew up behind the white picket fence. Life was perfect except there was a monster who lived next door. The monster attacked and stole my mind, hardened my heart and created a hole that did not come from God. Years gone by. No one could name the monster. No one could point to the pain. I was a pretty little girl living in her daddies world....gone bad. The little girl had just gone bad. No reason....Really?

to be continued... off to kick down the white picket fence.

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